Life Changes

Things have been changing around here. They've been changing for the better. It's been very exciting. Without getting too into it, I'll say that things were less than picture perfect in this household the past couple of years and things were looking downright grim to me as time marched on. I was dealing with a lot of personal turmoil and I am very grateful for my friends who stood by me and saw me through to the end of the mess whatever that end may have been. ;)

So, things are not perfect now, of course. No situation is perfect. It is a lot; A LOT better than it was 6 months ago. One tiny thing that I think helped (albeit not in the way it was probably intended to help) was a book my cousin sent me. I still have not read much of it. It's not really my kind of book, but I'm open minded. I read it when I think of it or if something is feeling exceptionally challenging. The book is called The Power of a Praying Wife. I pray. Yes. But I'm not what you'd call a prayerful person; at least, not my definition anyway. I was raised Catholic and have that background so I'm not Godless or anything. I just don't get all wrapped up in Scripture. I'm aware of the writings and teachings, but not on an expert level. So this book is just a different view than I'm accustomed to taking and sometimes it's those different perspectives that put things into perspective. The interesting part of this story is not what I'm gaining from the book at all. I'm not sure I've gained anything yet. I've barely scratched the surface. What gave me goosebumps and made me think was when one day I came home from work and Hubby said, "I've been reading your book."

First of all, Hubby doesn't read much of anything unless it's DIY or home improvement stuff. Second of all, anything that has words like "prayer" in the title is typically an instant turnoff to him. So, when he said he had been reading it, my eyebrows raised a bit! So, Hubby's been reading this book off and on while I was at work. His overall opinion is what I might have expected. He thought it was kind of corny; BUT he really liked some of the quotes and then he was picking them out of the book to read to me. What really amazed me is that the "quotes" were actually Bible passages. This in itself was strange because Hubby is not a religious person either and went so far to tell me the Bible made him "uncomfortable." Which I thought was silly anyway. So, for him to open a book about praying and pick out Bible scriptures that he liked was a huge leap in my book. And maybe something I would consider a sign. So, yes, signs I see daily. I see signs of God every day in life. I just have my own way of perceiving I guess.

So, that was huge to me. Big sign that there is HOPE for a better future. :) I've been quite optimistic ever since. Not only was there that, but Hubby has been more of a team player. It's awesome. Things are balancing out more. We've been talking about starting a family that consists of more than ourselves and our four-legged friends. So, I am off the pill as I said I would do this month and we'll just see what happens. Hubby has this innate fear of being a father at age 40. It will most likely happen before that. I mean, it's 7 years away. Surely it won't take that long. I'd be content with 35. But at this point, whenever works for me. I'm not scared of being a mom anymore...I'm scared of being pregnant and going through childbirth; but motherhood doesn't scare me. ;)